The (Kenyan) Christmas Song

If The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) had been written in Kenya:

Cashews roasting on an open fire
Hot sun scorching all the rest
Christian songs being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up in Sunday best



Ev'rybody knows some freshly made treats
Help to start the day off right
Tiny tots with their tummies full of meat
Will all sleep in peace tonight

Because the pilau is on its way
Baked with a goat slaughtered today
And ev'ry mother's child is gonna try
To sneak some extra bites on the sly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you!

And Merry Christmas from the MKKs: